Lesson 3: Graciousness in Defeat

Who would want to be a rugby league referee? Today, a referee was called a "fucking cheat" by a player, which prompted him to call over the captain of the team, who made a similar remark. When being talked to directly, the player who made the initial remark told the referee to "fuck off, cheat". The trainer of the side, supposedly the mature head amongst some physically charged youths, echoed the words of his players with more obscenities directed at the referee. As he was walking off the field with his sideline officials, verbal shit was flying from all directions.

When they reached the change room, they thought they had found solace, peace amongst the chaos. Wrong. A spectator, claiming not to be affiliated with either of the A-Grade clubs, came to the door and said "you guys are a fucking disgrace". When asked to leave, the spectator, in his mid-twenties and dressed like a metrosexual, threatened the official with violence, saying "if you touch me, I'll knock you out". Yeah, very intimidating dickhead. How about this - if you touch him, I'll shove those metro sunnies up your fucking asshole.

For the next 20 minutes or so while the officials were in the change room, all sorts of unsavoury things were heard from the outside. Eventually the spectators left and the referees were able to leave the ground, which they did together in order to lessen the likelihood of a post-match incident. Who would want to be a rugby league referee?

Quote of the Week I

"You can't make the wind come, but you can raise your sails so that when it comes, you can catch it" - Eddie Van Halen quoting some dude from King Crimson.

The Meaning of Life – Happiness

To live a good life is to maximise pleasure. There are all sorts of permutations and combinations relating to the philosophy of happiness, and just thinking about them and trying to make sense of them can serve to take your mind off any unhappiness that you may have had. Maybe this is why people often turn to deep thought when unhappy. A thousand questions begin to pop up:

1. What is happiness? (I think anyone who’s ever said or thought “I am happy” knows what happiness is. In other words, anyone who’s ever been happy knows what happiness is, as happiness is an experience, a state of mind.)

2. Is it unethical to have happiness as your main goal in life? (Surely it will lead to selfish actions, or in other words, it’ll make you an arsehole?)

1000. Why does it feel liberating when someone says to you “just be happy”? (Presumably, you’re not prioritising your own happiness. Surely, though, everyone is seeking happiness through their actions in some sense?)

One of the earliest teachers of a happiness-based way of thinking was Epicurus. Far from being a party boy, though, as is often associated with hedonism, Epicurus taught that the best way to maximise happiness was to live a life of moderation – “Happiness is man's greatest aim in life. Tranquility and rationality are the cornerstones of happiness.” Drinking beer until you get drunk might make you happy for the one night, but the next day you’ll more than likely feel like shit. Drink in moderation, though (which of course requires self-discipline), and you’ll have a good night tonight as well as not being hungover the next day. One criticism of such a philosophy is that it is selfish, that is, as long as you are happy, then the rest of the world can go and get stuffed. A counter argument to this might be that in order to achieve happiness, the external world will require some sort of order, and relationships with other people will have to be cultivated, which will in turn require altruistic thoughts and actions. Or perhaps selfishness is necessary to some extent in cultivating happiness, perhaps there are moments when one has to think that the world can go and get stuffed in order to be happy in that particular moment.

It seems to me that life is about choices. A person has the choice to drink themselves to a stupor, or stop after a few. A person has the choice when faced with heavy external criticism to think “they can all go and get stuffed” or they can take the criticism as truth which will result in a severely depleted self-esteem. There’s more than just two possible responses, too, there are a million ways in which a person could react to criticism, there’s an unlimited amount of ways a person can handle their drinking. In fact, they’re only faced with the option of drinking if they made an earlier decision which resulted in them being in a place where drinks are available. Where these choices lead, who knows? You just hang on and go for the ride.

Lesson 2: Perseverance

Never give up. Never never never give up.

Kris_man's always been a bit bemused by this saying, "don't give up". Surely there are times when it's just common sense to throw in the towel? Taking this example literally, imagine a boxer who told his trainer never ever to throw the towel into the ring and stop the fight. This guy could either be perceived as a hard-as-nails tough man, an inspiration, or a complete fool who's not playing the percentages. I'd go the latter, no doubt. If boxers never gave up when they were getting severely beaten (or the refs never gave up for them), and the opponent was willing, there would often be times where they would die in the ring. Here is one example at least where giving up is by far the better option than staying put.

Today, though, Kris_man finally finished his painstaking essay of 2000 words regarding John Dewey and "thinking for yourself". Kris_man could quite easily have thrown in the towel a number of days ago, thinking it was too late, the essay would never be completed, he hadn't even started and it was due a number of days ago. Still, for some reason he kept at it, and finally the essay was completed this morning. Sure, this may not sound like much, it's just an essay after all, and uni students are finishing essays all the time with and without fuss. Sometimes, though, it's these little "private victories", these accomplishments which mean very little to the external world but a whole heap to one individual, that can mean all the difference between succeeding and failing. It is these victories upon which confidence can be built - without them there is no confidence, no self-belief, and therefore no perseverance, therefore no enthusiasm, and ultimately, no success.

So where does persistence fit into all this? Well, I think we've all had times where we think "Damn I'm glad I didn't give up when things were down, I wouldn't be where I am now". That's how Kris_man feels now. Ultimately, though, there are times when it is best to give up, and there are times when it is best to hang in there and keep at it. A wise person knows the right option to take (ie, to give up or not to give up), like a halfback who knows whether to pass the ball, run it, or put a kick in behind the line. Whichever option is taken, though, the important thing is that you put your arse behind whichever decision you make. And maybe that's the most important thing.

Song of the Week

The inaugural song of the week is "The Hand that Feeds" by Nine Inch Nails, from their looong awaited album With Teeth. It's a bit formulaic, not as emotionally intense as other NIN tracks, but still a welcome change from all the other tripe that's being released at the moment.

Lesson 1: Punctuality

Do not get into the habit of handing assignments in late.

Kris_man is yet to put this idea into action, with yet another essay destined to be submitted after the due date. Brian Tracy said that successful people have a "sense of urgency" when it comes to completing tasks, it compels them into action. Well, what's the opposite of urgency? I'm not sure, but it's fair to say that Kris_man perceives uni work as being of low priority. Actually, that's not true, because if asked what his priorities were he'd almost certainly say that uni was number one. His actions, however, don't reflect that. Can you explain this behaviour? I can't.