The Meaning of Life: Happiness (part ii)

“There is no way to happiness. Happiness itself is the way.” – Wayne Dyer, self-help guru

I love this quote, I really do, in fact I wrote it on my wall with a marker pen when I was in high school, and it’s still there now. Even so, I don’t read it enough – all too often I get caught up chasing happiness as if it was a prize, waiting for me at the end of a long struggle. I don’t think this is the case though, I really don’t think happiness is some goal to be achieved, as it is so often perceived to be. It’s like some people think (and I know, because I used to be, and still am to some extent, exactly like this) that once happiness is achieved, once all the hard work has been done, they can sit on their laurels and they will be happy forever. One might, for example, believe that “once I get married and have kids” they will be happy, or “once I get that promotion”, or “once I meet that special person”…the list is endless. I’ve got a newsflash for people who think like this though: this is not how life works. This is not how happiness works.

There are some people who might be put off by a quote like this one, and for good reason. If you’ve been working hard for something, you want to believe that that thing is worth the hard work. If that thing suddenly loses its promise of granting happiness, then the natural consequence is going to be despondency. If such a person is to believe a quote like this, which emphasises that happiness is a means rather than an end, then the goal they’ve been working towards will lose its promise. I don’t want to dissuade people form thinking like this, though – there are a number of benefits from having goals in order to get sense of direction in life, I just don’t think that happiness should be amongst them. I mean, whatever floats your boat, but I’d be willing to wager that happiness will not occur as a direct consequence of event x happening.

I’ve found in the past that when I’ve depended upon certain events unfolding in order for me to be happy, that’s when my happiness is at its greatest risk. There’s no denying that attaining such a prize delivers a certain amount of pleasure, I’m just emphasising that a) it’s dangerous to depend upon this pleasure being attained, and b) that these types of pleasure will exist regardless of whether you perceive happiness to be a means or an end.Me personally, I’m happy to believe that happiness is a process rather than an end result.